by Maghalie Rochette
With an 18th place at the Hoogerheide World Cup yesterday, you are probably expecting a pretty bummed down newsletter.
I mean, it's true that I was a little bit disappointed after the race, but I was disappointed because I was doing so many good things until I crashed myself out. It felt like I took myself out of an opportunity of achieving a solid result. It felt very anti-climatic: doing so may good things, passing people, dropping groups of people, feeling good...and then? Nothing. So the disappointment comes from 1 second of the race where I made a mistake. Granted, it was a costly mistake, because the crash shook me hard (I'm okay!) and derailed my performance. It was a rut at the bottom of a descent that I took in the same way the 3 previous laps, and somehow, on this attempt I missed. But I can't only focus on that 1 second of the race. The rest of the 49 minutes, I did pretty well! I'm not saying I would have won the race if it wasn't for that one mistake...but I do think I was on track for something solid.
And with less than one week to go until the World Championships, what I want to keep in my mind are these good moments. I have an image of riding alone and feeling strong as I bridged to a group with Anne-Marie, Inge, etc. Moments later, the fun of drafting for a few seconds while plotting my next move, then accelerating before and bunny-hopping the barriers to pass half of the group. Then, on the long paved climb, attacking and dropping that whole group, starting the chase to the next group. I think about refining my lines after two laps in one of the muddy sections and carrying so much more speed in the exit, after doing it not so smoothly the first few times. I think of pulling myself up after the crash, feeling a bit winded and super soft/shaken, but getting back on the bike and finding the strength and composure to finish strongly enough to not get passed by more people (than those who passed me as I was still on the ground).
These are all tangible moments that I executed well. I felt engaged and strong, and this is something to build on. These moments give me confidence, and as much as I normally would have a tendency to beat myself up for that one big mistake, I'm slowly learning that this brings nothing good except affecting my self esteem. So instead, let's build this self-esteem!
The last week before Worlds!
Very much on brand for this season, this week didn't come without its own challenge. After building great momentum in Benidorm last week, I caught some type of virus or food intoxication midweek and completely emptied my body for 24h. I was not functional for another 24h, but then slowly my body gained its strength back, and by the day before the race, I felt normal again!
In fact, on the morning of the Hoogerheide World Cup, I wrote in my journal : "Not too much to say, I'm just so happy to be here! All I want to do is to race." And this is the feeling that I'm holding onto for next week at the Worlds.
With less than a week to go until World Championships, what I want this week is to fill myself with love, gratitude, fun...and oh gosh how cheesy does that sound?!
I know it's so cheesy. Like, soooooo bad. But let's be honest, those feelings do make you feel good inside don't they? Looking back on a long season, thinking of all the ups and downs, the moments I cried, the hardest workouts, the fun and successful moments, the people that made the season special...it always makes me feel warm inside and gives me that little bit extra appreciation and motivation.
This year was probably the toughest I've had, but somehow it makes this last race even more special. I've learnt so much this year, and I actually feel very much at peace, and happy right now.
The week before World Champs is often one of my favorites. It's like the celebration of the year, we get to hang out and meet with the other athletes of the National team, everyone brings their best slef to the race and it's just a special moment every year. So let's make it a fun one!
See you in the Czech Republic!
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