by Maghalie Rochette

I’m not too sure where to start. So I’ll start where I finished off last time. The last sentence I wrote 2 weeks ago after the World Cup in Dublin was this: “I’m already excited to see how I can do in the next world Cup!”.

Well…2 weeks have passed, and here I am in the plane on my way home, still wondering how I could do in the next world cup, and having not advanced at all in this quest. There is one major difference though; two weeks ago I was full of hope, and right now, I feel mostly sad. Hope will come back, I know it. But for now I’m trying hard to hold on to the exhilarating feeling I had after the Dublin World Cup, because it is the only thing keeping me anchored right now.

I don’t want to sound too negative. I am able to see the chance I have to be travelling the world to race my bike and pursue excellence in something I love. However, I want to be honest and the truth is I am a bit deflated right now. A cancelled race and a messed up finger resulting in a DNF and a DNS is not how I was envisioning this trip. And 3 weeks is a long time to travel for only one race.

That was not the plan
I’ll try to make a long story short.

My strategy this year was to do less races in Europe, but to come in firing when I showed up. Quality over quantity. I felt like I had one of my best form coming into this trip, and although it was going to be a short trip, I was ready to make the most of it. The trip was this: Dublin WC, Sardegna WC, and then a double weekend of racing in Belgium for Herentals and Namur WC. 18 days and 4 races including 3 world cups: simple and efficient.

After Dublin, the next race couldn’t come soon enough for me, I was fired up and ready to apply my learnings from the first World Cup. We flew to Sardegna to spend the week there before the race. However, as race day rolled around, so did a massive storm, and as much as I tried to deny it and prepare as if the race would happen, there was nothing we could do when the UCI and organization committee decided to cancel the race a few hours before the start. It was a blow. From there, we had another full week until the next race. That said, it’s not like we used this time on the island to train more. For me, this was a race trip, so the whole time my focus was on resting and staying sharp for the races. We stayed committed to the plan the whole time, but knowing what we know now, it kind of feels like we lost our time over there.

We finally flew to Belgium and were ready to finish the trip with a bang at the last two races. Yet, one lap into the race at Herentals, I hit a fence with my hand, crashed, and dropped out of the race with a very sore index finger. Without the full strength in my hand, it did not feel safe to race the most technically challenging course of the year in Namur.

So that was it for the race trip! I guess we could have left directly after Dublin two weeks ago. lol.

Silver linings
I keep thinking that there must be a lesson somewhere, a silver lining to this whole thing. And although I am allowing myself a day to be sad about it, I can already see some good that came out of this trip.

1. The preparation was the real gift :
Part of me feels sad because I feel like the opportunity was taken away from me. Yet, I know that hitting the fence is my own fault, and I know it all is part of the game when you choose to race. I feel sad because I feel like I prepared so well and came in so fit, and now I spent 3 weeks basically “de-training” and not reaping any of the benefits of the preparation.

At the same time, I look back to the preparation with such joy and pride. Of course it would have been cool to get to express myself and see what this fitness was worth, but the work I put in is not gone, and the joy and focus we’ve had getting ready still feels special. Maybe it’s true when they say that the real gift is in the process.

2. People
This trip showed us the power of real friendships. We got to spend time with our friends Helene Clauzel and Victor after the race got cancelled in Sardegna, and their company absolutely lifted our spirits and brought us comfort. We met through racing, but I feel like we will be friends for life.

Later, we got to spend an evening having dinner with our friend and longtime photographer Billy. Billy was bursting with ideas and creativity and his enthusiasm was contagious, giving me ideas of how to approach the next few years of my career during this hard time within the cycling industry. What a chance to finally get more quality time with him after working together for years!

Finally, after years of racing with Canadian star Sidney McGill, it is on this trip that we finally got to know each other better. Her and her family are incredibly good, smart, and interesting people. Getting to know them felt like a gift. They opened my mind to different ways of seeing the world and doing things.

Had it not been for the cancelled races and extra time on the island, I don't think I would have deepened these relationships!

3. Acceptance
Through this situation, I am finding comfort in acceptance. I don’t know if I believe in destiny, but it is comforting to wonder if perhaps, this is how things where meant to be. Maybe one day I’ll look back and this trip will have been a turning point or a stepping stone to something else. In all cases, although my nature is to fight, I found that here, there is no point in spending more energy to fight. Accepting seems like the only way forward, and somehow, the more I accept the more I find peace.

A really fun ride with Ben and Sidney in Cagliari! Good people make the world brighter!

Yet, the real gift is in the process. And this trip -- the highs and the lows - are all part of that journey. We do all this to live meaningful experiences, and the sadness is as much part of the experience as the exhilaration.

At the end of the day, I’m not new to this. I have experience in this sport by now, and it’s not the first time I am facing disappointment. So I know I’ll get out the other way and will come back.

For now, we left all our bikes and wheels in Europe, so we will for sure be back. I just don’t know when yet :)

Happy holidays everybody!

Maghalie

What's Next ?
To be determined...

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