by Maghalie Rochette

Phew! I don't remember the last time I've been so out of shape! Okay, let's be clear here, because I don't want to be disrespectful: I'm not really out of shape. I'm still in good shape, but I'm very far from a World Cup winning shape.

For as long as I can remember, I've based my personal self-worth on how fit I was. Being fit gave me confidence and made me proud. So much that I have never really let myself be "unfit".... I couldn't. If my whole identity and self-esteem is based on how fit I am, what am I if I'm out of shape?

Of course this is not optimal...I'm a competitive person, and sometimes, in racing scenarios, this ego and this pride have helped me pushed myself and achieve results. But in many ways, this ego that I have is and has always been my biggest enemy.

Luckily, over years of "exposing" myself through racing, I've been working hard on not letting my ego stand in my way. I've had no choice. If I want to perform to my very best, I have to expose myself, and to expose myself, there is no place for ego.

Let's back up a little bit. Why am I so out of shape? Isn't it my job to be fit and win races? Yes, yes it is.
In early July, when we came back from Iceland, both David and I got Covid, and it really hit us HARD. I think we were easy targets after a big week of riding and not sleeping much in Iceland, so Covid really chewed us up and spit us out. After a week off the bike, I started riding a bit, but quickly realized it was making things worse, so we took more time off, and it took another full week before we could start riding. We then started riding really really slowly. In total, it was about 17 days off until we finally felt healthy.

So this brings us to now: Racing Rooted Vermont on Day 6 of "getting back into shape"!

Let's start by stating the important: Rooted was an AMAZING event. The 130km course was fun, varied, and beautiful. The Vermont vibes were everywhere; good people, kids playing, good food, and maple creamies at the finish line. It was an all-round 5 star weekend!

Now back to this out fo shape situation... I'm starting from far. Normally, in July, I'm almost at top fitness as the cyclocross season is really just around the corner. I have the luxury of preparing well in the summer, so I normally make a point to start the CX season in "the best shape of my life" every year.

Right now, I'm about 20-30% slower and less fit than I usually am at this time of year. Ouch. And the cyclocross season is still approaching really quickly.

Needless to say, it was hard to accept taking some time off post covid. The start of the 'cross season was very much on my mind. How can I take time off now when the season is approaching so fast?! But eventually, I've accepted that this is what it is. Our guideline has always been "Health First". There is no point in trying to perform when you aren't even healthy. In fact, I've been lucky in my career so far as I never really had any injuries preventing me from training. This was the first time I really had to let go of some race goals, and take extended time off to recover. I may not be at my top form to start the season. I'm certainly far from top form for these summer gravel races. But that's okay. Eventually, I'll get back to the top!

So here we are now! Healthy and back on the road to fitness. And my moto for this challenge is "Progress over Pride".

It's with this mindset that I entered Rooted VT : Progress over Pride.

Normally, I show up to a race like that to win (I may not win all the time, but all my focus is on trying to). This time, I would also try to win, but mostly I wanted to have a solid day of training. Progress.

The race started, and instead of trying to go with the first men's group and get away (my usual strategy in Gravel racing), my goal was to keep the first women in sight. I fought HARD in the first 1.5h to stay in contact. After 2h, I got dropped slightly, but kept fighting at my own pace. I was in 4th or 5th place, riding by myself and suffering like a dog. I blew up a little bit after 2.5h, when David brought a pack of women back to me (lol! Thanks Dave). My lack of fitness was catching up...I felt dizzy, my legs were on the edge of cramping, and I had a huge headache. I slowed down a bit to regroup, riding my own tempo and eating well. I eventually made it to an aid station and ate a Nutella sandwich and a full bottle of water, and that put me back on track. I finished the last 40km by myself at a good pace and caught up a lot of people.

To be honest, I have no clue where I finished. But damn did I try hard (except I may have lost too many positions when I stopped for my Nutella sandwich)! It was actually really fun and refreshing to race without an ego. All I cared about was pushing myself, passing people when I could, staying with a group if I could. I didn't care who I was riding with and where I was within the race. I wasn't judging myself for not being in the lead. I was just riding hard and enjoying pushing my limits. Progress, not pride.

Not judging myself allowed me to still have a great workout, despite of my poor result. If pride had been at the top of my mind, I could have gotten stuck in my head, trying to find excuses for why I wasn’t fast, and then I would have had a shit day. Instead, I absolutely loved the day. I pushed myself as if I was in contention for the podium, I enjoyed the course, and had a great day, leaving feeling proud of the work done!

Getting fit doesn't happen overnight. It's a process and it's not easy. It requires good work, every day, for an extended period of time. But if I can keep that mindset of focusing on progress, rather than satisfying my ego, then I think it should be a fun challenge!

Progress over pride. LET'S GO!

Thanks again to Laura and Ted King for a fun event. Thanks for reading :)

Maghalie

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