Scott Martin

The Tour of California pro stage race will make its first visit to my hometown of Santa Cruz next Monday, Feb. 16, and everybody's excited.

Local organizers have done a great job of priming the pump. Activities include a time trial up one of the climbs on the race route, a tandem ride this Saturday and a cycling exhibit at a downtown museum. (Sadly, my denim-look Lycra shorts, circa 1990, were not accepted.)

Our esteemed local cable TV channel even took time out from its comprehensive coverage of junior high water polo to profile a couple of locals competing in the ToC, followed by a 3-hour interview with JFK-assassination conspiracy theorist Mr. X.

Still, something's missing. What good is it being a roadie in a town hosting the Big Show if you can't get yourself mistaken for a pro for a couple of hours? Hence, 5 tips for faking it :

Look world-weary. Ho-hum... another town, another stage, another day getting paid to pedal my $12,000 bike.

Don't eat for 2 weeks before the pros arrive. These folks are sticks, so you need to look the part. Getting sick would also help with that gaunt "I ride 250 kilometers before breakfast" look.

Sign up for a spray-on tan (but only on your arms and legs) to cover that pasty cubicle-dweller appearance. Now you look mah-velo-us.

Wear leg warmers when spinning around before the stage start, even if it's 110 degrees. Pros do this -- don't ask why.

Don't wear your yellow jersey unless some French dude gave it to you on a podium in Paris. Do wear your most obscure team jersey. Yes, you know that Team Jorge's Tacqueria is not in the ToC. Your neighbor Jim-Bob does not.

une page mise en archives par SVP

vélo ski de fond plongeon
Consultez notre ENCYCLOPÉDIE sportive