Scott Martin

One of the big controversies in racing -- besides the, uh, oping-day -- is the use of radios.

Many riders and coaches love radios because they make it easier to keep track of the action. With your directeur sportif yakking in your earpiece, you always know who's in the break, the size of their time gap, how fast you must go to catch them, and who's sleeping with which podium girl.

Critics, however, claim radios rob racing of spontaneity and passion while undermining a critical part of the sport -- the ability to "read" a race.

I believe radios have their place. Just not on the race course.

Actually, radios are wasted on competition. They belong in everyday cycling. Think how much better things would be if you had a coach whispering in your ear before you did something stupid. For example :

The situation : You spent $5,000 on a new bike without telling your spouse.

Without a radio you say : "Look, honey, it's got ceramic bearings!"

With radio guidance you say : "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and this bike will enable me to stay healthy enough to cherish you for years to come. Also, I bought you this BMW."

The situation : A motorist cuts you off.

Without a radio you say : "!@#$!!!"

With radio guidance you say : "Got your license-plate number, Mr. HN-56R2. My brother in law, the crooked cop, will be paying you a visit."

The situation : Your host offers you a heaping plate of chicken-fried steak basted with high-fructose corn syrup.

Without a radio you say : "Whoa, I gotta climb Mt. Thrombosis tomorrow, which is something you might want to do once in a while too, Michelin Man."

With radio guidance you say : "Yum. Unfortunately, I'm a lacto-intolerant fruitarian with a stapled stomach."

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