Scott Martin

Lost in the shock and excitement over Lance Armstrong's recent comeback announcement was news of another triumphant return: mine.

Yes, after years -- OK, decades -- of anonymity, I've decided to reach for the highest levels of the sport. My goal : Raise worldwide awareness for my charity, People United against Saddlesores (PUS). Be sure to pick up an angry-red SitStrong wristband wherever chamois cream is sold.

As with Lance, my decision is guaranteed to cause a furor in the cycling world. Let's see what some of the key players are saying :

My fiercest rival, Big Ring Bob
"Comeback ? Don't you have to go away to come back ? Whatever. So, does this mean you're actually going to take a pull on the lunch ride ? Seriously, dude, just one pull. And when were you planning to replace that tube you bummed off me last month? "

My glamorous girlfriend, Lurleen
"Hello ? Who's calling ? You ! Look, buster, the judge said you can't contact me no more. What part of 'restraining order' don't you understand ? Comeback ? Darlin', if I didn't come back after I went to the store for cigarettes three months ago, I sure ain't coming back now. And speaking of coming, you couldn't ... Hello ? Don't you dare hang up on..."

My closest confidant, Spot
What's that, boy ? You think returning from a long layoff to beat the odds and tweak Father Time will be "ruff" ? But you believe in me and feel that my inspirational story will be "grrrrreat" ? I knew I could count on you. Alright already, here's your stupid biscuit.

une page mise en archives par SVP

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