Scott Martin

In a move to make roadways safer for cyclists, bike advocates and traffic-safety experts are proposing that driver's license exams include more questions about cycling.

The effort appears to be gaining traction, with support pouring in from groups like the political action committee (MoronPAC) representing people who repeatedly fail the driver's test -- as long as any new questions replace the dreaded "How close to a fire hydrant can you park ?"

What might the new questions look like? RBR's undercover investigative team obtained a copy of the proposed exam in a daring nighttime operation involving . . . okay, we stood in line for 3 hours at the DMV.

Check out some of the new questions :

1. What does it mean when a cyclist in your lane sticks out his left arm ?
(a) He's preparing to turn left, so you should let him move left to make the turn.
(b) You should cut him off because he doesn't pay taxes, his shorts look stupid and you're in a hurry, dammit.
(c) What cyclist? I don't see no cyclist.

2. You hit a cyclist in the bike lane. You should :
(a) Stop, call 911 and see if the cyclist is injured.
(b) Drag the body and bike into the middle of the road when no one is looking.
(c) Go home and clean the Lyrca out of your retreads.

3. Cyclists may ride 2 abreast when :
(a) Permitted by local laws.
(b) Satan has to buy a wooly hat and mittens.
(c) You're out of bullets.

4. Cyclists have the same rights and responsibilities as other road users. True or false ?
(a) True.
(b) False.
(c) One out of 2 ain't bad.

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