The National Federation of the Blind recently called on automakers to make hybrid cars noisier, because hybrids are too quiet for blind pedestrians to hear.

On behalf of cyclists, I say : Hear, hear !

Finally, confirmation that I'm not losing my mind. Or my hearing.

I used to rely on my ears to tell when a car was approaching from behind. That snarling engine reminded me to stay right and be extra vigilant while some Starbucks-fueled soccer dad exercised his inalienable right to go 60 mph in a 25-mph zone. Lately, though, silent-running hybrids - and increasingly quieter conventional vehicles - have been sneaking up on me.

Advocates for blind people are proposing a device built into the axle of hybrids that could make a sound as the wheel rotates. Sort of the car version of a baseball card in your spokes.

Cool idea, but why stop there ? What we cyclists need are warning sounds for all the common, deadly road hazards we face every day. For example :

• Drivers talking on cell phones
Solution : A dashboard sensor detects when a call is being made and blares a warning through the vehicle's horn.
Sound : "Blah-blah... blah-blah..."

• Clueless pedestrians
Solution : Mandatory wristband emits a noise whenever somebody jaywalks, skateboards in traffic or jogs at dusk while wearing a black sweat suit.
Sound : Alarm-clock buzzer.

• Road-raging motorists
Solution : Steering wheel-mounted gizmo issues an alarm when it senses a big jump in driver blood pressure and/or steam emanating from ears.
Sound : Opening bars from Richard Wagner's ominous Ride of the Valkyries. Or AC/DC's Highway to Hell.

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