Scott Martin

When a teammate groused last week that his shoes were still wet the day after a rainy ride, I knew just what to say : Ha-ha !

Even though I got caught in that same storm.

Difference is, my shoes were dry the next day. Why ? Because I am a rain god. Yes, a lifetime of poor judgment has made me an expert in bad-weather cycling. And now that winter is approaching the northern hemisphere, it's time to wring this knowledge from my soggy brain into the catch-basin of your eager minds.

Q : How do I dry my shoes ?

A : Stuff them with crinkled-up newspaper. After a couple of hours, replace the wet wad with another dry one. Shoes will be mostly dry by morning. Use the editorial pages, since all that hot air cuts drying time by 30%.

Q : What about eyewear ?

A : Go with amber- or yellow-tinted glasses. Not because they improve clarity in gray conditions, though they do. The real benefit is that they make the day seem brighter than it is, convincing you to add another loop and ignore that funny funnel-shaped cloud on the horizon. More miles, baby.

Q : Footwear ?

A : Wool or polypro socks, followed by shoes, followed by plastic bags with holes cut out for your cleats, followed by booties. Don't forget to seal the tops of the booties with duct tape to keep water from running down your legs and into your shoes. Removing the duct tape from your skin afterward is painless because you remembered to shave your legs, right ?

Q : Rear fender ?

A : Tough call. Doesn't really keep your butt dry if it's raining anyway. But it will prevent dirty water from spraying the face of the rider behind you. So I say : no fender. Take that, wheelsucker.

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