13 juin 2013

Quid Pro Quo

Scott Martin

Mixed marriages and relationships can be disastrous. Cultural gulfs, societal pressures and ugly prejudices often tear lovers apart. Shattered, both partners are left wondering whether they should've stuck with their own kind.

Yes, it's tough when a cyclist hooks up with a non-cyclist.

At first your two-wheeled hobby seems quaint, even cute. "You want me to wear my Lycra skinsuit to bed? Why would I... ohhh."

But six months later, your snookums is screaming: "If I open a cupboard and get clobbered by one more water bottle avalanche, you're going to be sleeping with your precious bike -- in the garage."

For most non-riding partners, the last straw is the new bike purchase. To help you navigate this tricky but essential relationship rite of passage, here are three strategies:

Social Consciousness. You say: "If I have a new bike, I'll ride it to work. I'll use less gas, reduce pollution and cut greenhouse-gas emissions."

This works if you actually start pedaling to work. Or if your partner belongs to Greenpeace, PETA, et al.

It fails if you put your bike in the car and drive six hours to a race every weekend. Or your partner works for the Petroleum Institute.

Personal Growth. You say: "I'll ride more, which will make me happier and less stressed, which will make me a better partner."

This works if the partnership you're referring to involves your lover, not your new bike.

It fails if you ride so much that you're overtrained, which makes you unhappier and more stressed, which makes you a jerk.

Bribery. You say: "If I get a new toy, you get a new toy."

This works... every time.


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