Scott Martin

Still on the fence about whether to shave your legs? What if doing so could earn you money and alleviate human suffering?

First, some background. The New York Times recently reported on a new procedure that enables doctors to replace thinning hairlines by taking hair follicles from patients’ legs and grafting them to the head.

Hair transplants are nothing new. Doctors have transplanted follicles from the back of the head to the front, but back-of-head hair is typically much coarser than front-of-head hair. This can leave the re-planted hairline looking “harsh and pluggy,” the author of a report on the new procedure told the Times.

Not so with leg hair, which can a yield softer, more natural hairline. How does it work? With the patient under local anesthesia, a device creates microscopic wounds around the leg’s hair follicles, which are then removed and grafted one by one to the head. (The harvested hairs don’t grow back on your leg, so the doctor typically removes them in a diffuse pattern to avoid bald spots.) The entire procedure generally involves 1,500 to 1,800 follicles and takes about 8 hours, with breaks.

People, this is a win-win for cyclists. If you’re thinning on top, you get a Fabio-style head of hair and you never have to shave your legs again. If you still have all your head hair, your legs could become a sort of hair farm for chrome domes everywhere. I bet balding people would pay good money to get high-quality leg hair without having their own legs plucked.

Sure, the hair-removal process sounds painful. But we’re cyclists; pain is what we do. Plus, you’ll spend way less on razors and Band-Aids. And never again will your showers end in cursing and blood spilling.

Best of all, someday you could walk down the street and see a radiant donor recipient with long, lustrous locks. You’ll smile and proudly think, “That’s my leg hair.”

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