Scott Martin

“The British government rejected advice from its Olympic team’s top doctor that athletes should not shake hands at the London Games to avoid germs that could make them sick. Government health advisers seemed perplexed by the guidelines, which Olympic hopefuls derided as ‘rude’ and ‘pointless.’ By the end of the day, the British Olympic Association had softened its stance.” -- Associated Press

Sorry, but I agree with the doc. Shaking hands is a great way to show respect to other people, if by respect you mean giving them a communicable disease.

You work so hard to get in shape. And you take precautions: popping vitamins, hitting elevator buttons with your elbow, reading Howard Hughes biographies for hygiene tips…

Then some jerk grabs your paw. “How are you?” you ask politely. “I’ve got a terrible cold,” he replies. Thanks a lot, you think, just after absentmindedly scratching your nose.

And that’s it. Those rainy intervals, those un-nibbled éclairs, those indoor-trainer indignities – all wasted as you hack and sniffle under the covers for the next 5 days.

There has to be a better way to meet and greet. The fist bump has a hip aura, but it still involves potential germ exchange. (Am I being paranoid? Next time you’re in a public bathroom, watch how many people don’t wash their hands.) I’m partial to the Japanese bow, but I can’t see Western cultures adopting it.

It’s worse when you meet people on rides. Those fingerless cycling gloves just don’t offer enough microcrobe protection. You could grab your greasy chain whenever you see someone coming toward you with hand extended, but then you’d feel pretty silly when she brushes a mosquito off your shoulder.

Which reminds me: I’m probably due for my malaria booster shot.

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