Scott Martin

I was intrigued to learn from Slate.com that you can buy a New York Yankees-themed fragrance that “epitomizes the winning style of the greatest team in baseball.”

The men’s cologne features hints of “sparkling bergamot, coriander, and cool blue sage,” while the women’s version offers notes of “juicy guava, succulent plum, and sun-kissed apricot nectar.”

This is known as “brand extension,” and as usual the cycling industry is off the back. I’m here to rectify that.

Cyclists already buy loads of bike-themed t-shirts, pint glasses, posters, pizza cutters, and earrings made from used cassette cogs and derailleur pulleys. Surely there’s a market for a product that appeals to the most elemental and evocative of our 5 senses, the sense of smell.

Especially when you consider that our sport produces many distinctive scents, and not just the ones associated with your slacker laundry schedule. Coming soon to a perfume or cologne counter near you:

Chanel No. 53x11
This beguiling fragrance offers a touch of citrus degreaser overlaid with the earthy tones of road grime and the petroleum tang of chain lube. One splash and wearers will find their sexual allure shifting into high gear.

EPOpium
Inspired by the legendary Opium perfume, this addictive scent bewitches with the musk of testosterone, the zest of human growth hormone and crisp undertones of anabolic steroids. Whether you dab it behind your ears or inject it into your arm, EPOpium will infuse you with confidence, assertiveness and strength. Lots and lots of strength.

Eau de la Rue
This versatile fragrance is perfect for a day at the office, a night on the town or an evening on the stationary trainer. It combines the rain-washed freshness of wet wool socks with the zest of salty helmet straps for a tantalizing scent that says, “Cyclist.”

une page mise en archives par

Consultez notre ENCYCLOPÉDIE sportive