Scott Martin

“Lookin’ good!”

We’ve all heard these encouraging words at some point in our cycling lives, and we all know what they really mean: “Man, you look like crap.” We’re talking glazed eyes, salt-encrusted shorts, drool-flecked chin, 3-pack-a-day breathing, drunken-sailor pedaling style.

And yet we embrace the lie. We wipe our chins, dig deeper, keep going.

Yes, deception works. And now science proves it.

In a study of trained cyclists in England, The New York Times recently reported, riders on stationary bikes were told they were racing against a computerized avatar programmed to match the riders’ PR pace. In reality, the avatar was going 1% faster than the riders had ever gone. The riders ended up matching the avatars’ pace.

So lying is good. To a point. In another study in which the avatar was secretly programmed to go 2% faster, the deceived riders kept up for half the distance, then gave up.

Which makes sense. When your non-cycling friend says, “Geez, you oughta do the Tour de France someday,” you reply: “You know, you’re right.” No, wait. You modestly say, “Well, I’m not quite that good.”

But when somebody says, “I bet you can climb Mt. Aneurysm without barfing,” you believe it. Even if the stains on your shoes say otherwise.

Cash, however, supposedly doesn’t increase performance. “Physiologists have asked athletes to go as fast as they can on a course and then offered money if the athletes could beat their own best times,” the Times says. “They could not.”

Clearly, researchers have never witnessed a local criterium where 100 Masters riders with careers and families go elbow-to-elbow at 35 mph for $5 and a gluten-free energy bar.

So, best stick to the white lies. Studies show they make you 3.2% better. Really.

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