Scott Martin

Once you move past the beginner stage in cycling -- i.e., you know not to wear underwear beneath your riding shorts -- you quickly realize that improvement is a long, hard slog for those of us whose parents were not Olympic medalists. (Curling doesn't count, eh ?)

Sure, riding is still fun and healthy. But getting appreciably stronger takes years of discipline, sweat and other things your high school gym teacher wouldn't shut up about.

Once you understand this, you start searching for a magic bullet that will save you from cycling mediocrity.

Perhaps you have an allergy that hinders athletic performance. Preferably one that doesn't require living in a sealed plastic bubble, which could get pretty humid during indoor trainer workouts. A gluten allergy would be perfect: You give up wheat, rye and barley in exchange for 20 more watts of power and a lifetime of PB&J on gluten-free bread made from compressed sawdust.

No allergies ? Maybe you have a deficiency that hampers recovery. Vitamin D is in the news a lot lately; many of us in northern climes apparently don't get enough of the so-called "sunshine" vitamin. The remedy: pop a few pills and lie in the sun. Oh, the sacrifice.

Deficiency-free ? Possibly you suffer from a heretofore undetected, strength-robbing physical anomaly -- something more than an ingrown toenail and less than the Elephant Man. How about a leg-length discrepancy ? A couple of cleat shims and presto ! You're limping onto the podium.

Disgustingly well aligned ? Surely you have an over-use injury that would respond to a trendy treatment like blood spinning, which involves shooting your own blood into the wound to speed recovery. It worked for Tiger Woods, and we know he makes good decisions.

Injury free ? Jeez, what's wrong with you ?

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