Scott Martin

First came energy drinks. Then, recovery drinks. Now, anti-energy drinks. There are already more than 350 kinds of "relaxation drinks" on the market, an analyst recently told the New York Times. With names like Snoozeberry, Dream Water and Koma Unwind Chillaxation, these beverages represent the flipside of sugary, caffeinated energy drinks such as Jolt, Red Bull and Trigger Finger. (Okay, that last brand may still be in development.)

Relaxation drinks often contain melatonin, valerian root and rose hips. Makers claim a variety of benefits, including anxiety relief, jet lag prevention, diminished PMS symptoms and improved sex life. Also, you tend to start or end every sentence with the word "dude."

All of which spells opportunity. Cyclists were early adopters of energy drinks, so we're the perfect test demographic for these exciting new beverages :

Grime. The ideal drink for when you're fixing your bike. Grime contains carrot juice to help you see tiny parts dropped in the shag carpet and Prozac for when you strip that $33 titanium chainring bolt. Plus, you can use Grime to remove stains from your spouse's favorite cashmere sweater that you mistook for a rag.

Spin. Fortified with hallucinogens and a spritz of grain alcohol, Spin is great for post-ride coffee shop gatherings, where your riding buddies can't wait to hear once more about the time you nearly made the breakaway that almost shattered the field of riders who were practically pros. And don't forget to chug a Spin before the "I need a new bike" conversation with the holder of the family purse strings.

Day-Glo. Made with liquid extracted from spent nuclear-plant fuel rods, this revolutionary beverage makes your skin glow bright green. No longer will you be invisible to cell phone-wielding, latte-swilling motorists.

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